To Approach or Not to Approach...

Telling myself that I could only blog after I wrote for the day has been a mixed blessing...at first, it worked in that I was writing at least a little every day, but I had a couple of distracting personal things going on, then I got sick (knocked me out of commission for a week), and this week has been a bit discombobulated after being out of town for a wedding. So I haven't been blogging because I haven't been writing. The difference this time is that I don't just feel guilty for not writing, as I have in the past, but now I also miss it. I miss the characters, I miss moving the story along, and I miss working on my revisions to improve the whole book. That's how I know I'll be coming back to it (hopefully Monday), because I know I want to rather than being afraid of getting back to it and feeling guilty for being away from it in the first place. It's kind of like in The Goodbye Girl, when at the end, Richard Dreyfuss' character gets a job in LA and Marsha Mason's character thinks he's leaving for good because it's happened to her before, but then she sees his guitar is still in the apartment and she leans out the window in the pouring rain and yells, "You left your guitar! You're coming back!" Then he says "Of course I'm coming back!" and looks at her like she's crazy for being out in the pouring rain and he gets in his taxi and she smiles and waves and the sappy song swells and then the credits come up (gee, you think I've seen this movie a few times?). Well, I just found the guitar in the corner, so I know I'm coming back even though I've been away longer than I've wanted to be.

Yesterday I went to a talk and book signing with the tower of awesomeness that is John Green. I was trying really hard to finish his latest, Paper Towns, to avoid possibly learning the ending at the signing (even just from people around me talking about it), but I only got two-thirds of the way through. However, I digress. For an author, especially at a signing, they're pretty used to people complimenting them on their books and probably don't worry about having anything pithy to say to each person, but as a person on the other side of the book table, I often worry about what to say. It's pretty silly, really, because I'm only one of many in a long line, and it's not like an author is going to think "Wow, that person from Poughkipsie made a really stupid comment--I don't want them to read my books anymore." But for me, it's an opportunity to have a moment, however brief, to interact with someone whose work I admire. I could do a whole blog entry about my interactions with recognizable people (I hesitate to say celebrities, since not all of them are of a highly recognizable status--though I recognized them!), but now's not the time, and it has little to do with writing. Though I will say that one of the most exciting interactions I ever had was when I saw one of the co-creators of Schoolhouse Rock at the airport (no, I'm not that good--I'd seen him the night before at a tribute/discussion). He was so gracious and down-to-earth and didn't act like I was the tongue-tied uber-nerd fan that my friends later teased me that I'd been. Which brings me to my question: to approach, or not to approach?

This is a double-pronged issue. My first instinct, when I recognize people I admire, is to go up to them and tell them that. However, I often hesitate, especially depending on the setting, because I don't necessarily want to disturb them while they're going about doing things that non-recognizable people do all the time. Once I saw a famous actress walking ahead of me with her daughter, and I noticed that the actress' shoe was untied. I debated about saying anything, because I didn't want to take time away from this girl just spending time with her mom, but I finally decided that I didn't want to be responsible for this woman potentially tripping and breaking an ankle and missing her next million-dollar movie all because I hadn't warned her about her shoelace. I quietly tapped her on the shoulder and politely told her about her shoe, to which she rather frostily replied "Thank you." Now, I honestly don't know if she was annoyed that she was in fact spending time with her daughter and thought I shouldn't have bothered her at all, or if she was expecting me to ask for an autograph or tell her how much I enjoyed her work and was put out that I seemed not to care who she was. Which brings me to the other prong: not wanting to approach someone I admire because they might turn out to be a jerk and then I wouldn't admire them so much anymore.

I'll just focus on the author aspect of this, since with celebrities there are whole other categories, such as what their politics are, how they dress at award shows, and other such things that may make one think that the person's not exactly the cat's pajamas anymore. With authors, since I, for one, am basing most of my knowledge and admiration of them on their work, I'm sometimes hesitant to have that momentary interaction with them in case they turn out to be someone whose work I wouldn't want to read from that point forward. It is for this reason that I've been terrified to go to a Julie Andrews book signing (that, and that they're most probably crazy-crowded). I have worshipped Ms. Andrews since I was a wee tot, adored Mandy and The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles, and if she turned out to be anything less than practically perfect in every way, I might be disappointed. Well, that's an exaggeration, because I think someone would have to be a pretty big jerk for me to not want to read his or her stuff anymore if I liked it enough to approach them in the first place. Make sense? I've been to signings, even the "Autograph Party" at the SCBWI conference, where authors (and a few illustrators) seem less than interested to be signing my book, and a few have been paying attention to other people who are talking to them while I'm getting my book signed. I'm not talking about their agent or editor who has a quick comment or question, I'm talking about, let's say, the person behind me in line who strikes up a conversation before they get to the table, which renders my interactive face time moot.

Going to a signing is one thing, but having to make a quick decision in a public setting is a bit different. I recently saw Sonya Sones at a local farmer's market, whose book I had literally just finished reading a few days before. I didn't want to disturb her, but I so badly wanted to tell her how much I loved her book. I blurted out her first name as she was walking away, made my fan-like comments, and she was very gracious, telling me I'd made her day. It was great and brief, but I still couldn't help but wonder if I'd somehow bothered her from going about her business, enjoying shopping for produce, or if she was annoyed that a stranger had called her by her first name (which I wouldn't ordinarily do, but that was the first thing I could think of). That's me, I guess, being a bit too sensitive--but overall I was glad I said something to her. Then there's the time where at a recent conference I found myself sitting one row in front of Lisa Yee, whose work I really enjoy. I asked her some inane question about her famous Winnie-the-Pooh collection, just to have something to say to her. I was going to ask her to sign my book while we were sitting there, but I lost my nerve, and then I worried that she thought I was a crazy book-stalker who asks questions about Winnie-the-Pooh instead of the nervous fan that I was. In that case, I felt like I should have just kept my mouth shut...

Bottom line: there is no hard and fast rule for me about whether I approach an author or not. I guess I have to gauge the atmosphere and whether the person seems approachable. But more importantly, I have to be okay with my decision, to not kick myself later for not approaching someone, or to not berate myself for being an idiot if I do decide to say something. I'm just thankful to be able to see these authors at all in any situation, which my growing and marvelous signed-copy collection proves.

Happy Halloween!

But At Least I Wrote...

All right, let's get right into it... Today's productivity--brand new stuff, including two lines that made me laugh out loud,, for a grand total of half a page. I am bumming. I am trying not to flog or mentally berate myself. But I am so disappointed. Mr. GJ worked at home again, which although it's not his fault, I just do not get as much work done when he's home. I don't quite understand this--I've done NaNoWriMo twice before, and managed to write on the weekends, when Mr. GJ was home, whenever I needed to in order to meet my daily quota. Today, not so much. Still, half a page is better than 3/5 of nothing, so I'm trying to look at the glass as half-full.

Tomorrow will be a no-writing day, as I'll be spending the day with Mr. GJ for his BIRTHDAY!!! So I'll look ahead to Friday...oh, I really hope I don't get a cold by then!

A New Routine

Yes, it is a late post, but I am determined to make an entry to my blog whenever I write that day. I wrote a bit earlier, but went out tonight, so I wanted to make sure I still got a chance to post.

I don't even have much to say right now (I'm tired and possibly getting a cold), but I'm determined to get into this new routine I've devised for myself: writing every day (at least on weekdays), then blogging after I write. The lack of routine is what has bitten me in the butt in the past, I think, so any regimen I can follow now I think is definitely helping, as simple as it may be. I'd love to say that I get up, exercise, eat breakfast, then write until lunch, then go back to writing until dinner, but it just doesn't work that way for me. I still don't have a specific time that I start writing (I'm working on that--my new routine is still being honed...), but at least I'm writing.

Today's productivity--half rewrite, half new, for a total of 1 full page. No, it is not a great output for the day, but in the past I could quite conceivably not do any writing and think I'd just get to it tomorrow, so the one page I did today is an accomplishment for me in its own way. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Changing Things...

Today was one of those days that didn't go quite as I'd planned. Not the "my-car-unexpectedly-overheated-so-I-spent-all-day-getting-towed-and-at-the-mechanic's" sort of day (though I have had those before), but just a dumb kind of "things-took-longer-than-I-thought" type day. I did add some blog links to my blog today--blogs I read on a fairly regular basis, so I hope other people will get some enjoyment out of them, too. After dinner, Mr. GJ was still working (from home today, which again provided another distraction--but I'm working to overcome his being home being a distraction), so I decided to go into the office and at least get a few sentences down.

Today's productivity--a bit of re-writing a section moved from another chapter, and a bit of new writing, for a total of two full pages.

Now, that may not seem like a lot, but considering I thought the day was already written off and I rarely write at night, I'm very happy with my output. I daresay (I don't think I've ever used that word!) that I'm--eek!--enjoying the revision right now. I don't usually like it, often feeling like I don't know if I'm actually improving my story with the changes I'm making, but right now I feel that although it can be messy and time-consuming and I have to fight internal mini-battles about taking certain things out, I'm making progress. Since it felt like autumn today, I'll use a Halloween analogy: getting deeper into my revision feels like carving a jack-o'lantern, in that I know it's going to take time, and when I'm up to my elbows in cold, goopy pumpkin innards it's hard to believe it'll be worth it, but there's something satisfying about really getting in there and changing the structure of the pumpkin. And in the end, I'll hopefully have something really cool.

I feel like I'm getting to know my characters better, some of the relationships are becoming more defined, and I've been able to play up the humor more. I'm not always a patient person--I want to lose weight now, I want our new baby plants to grow and bloom now--but right now I'm enjoying the process of working on my book. It's like taking the Road to Hana in Maui--sometimes it's not about the destination, it's about making the trip...

Making Headway

I guess I still have to get used to my little "experiment," because in my last post I forgot to include that day's progress. So, I'll do it now: Productivity--finishing a chapter, cutting, pasting and tweaking, for a total of about 2 pages. Not great, but I'm still trying to get into the rhythm of writing every day during the week (weekends are logistically more difficult, but I haven't completly ruled them out if I'm on a roll), so it was good enough for that day. And sending out my first two chapters to the members of my new critique group that day provided a sense of relief and accomplishment, with a bit of fear thrown in for good measure.

As for today, all day I was battling the kind of headache I can't stand (not that I like any headaches, but this kind, short of a migraine, is the worst for me), one that's a combination of sinus pressure and being tired, and usually the only thing that cures it is sleep. I toyed with the idea of lying down for a quick nap this afternoon, but I really wanted to work on my book, so I fought off the urge to close my eyes for a bit. The result? The headache receded, and I got to play "solve the puzzle" with my manuscript, moving things around and figuring out where things fit best. I still think it's better for me this way than to start from scratch with this story--my new analogy is that it's like going into a house in need of renovation, salvaging the good building materials and figuring out where you can use them rather than knocking down the whole thing. It's not as frustrating as I thought it might be, the result of making a later chapter the first chapter. In my previous draft, the scene I'm currently working on contained a character that had already been introduced about fifty pages prior to this scene, but now that character makes his entrance here. It makes things a bit complicated, but I actually enjoyed moving some things around, and the scene feels like it's making sense rather than just feeling adjusted to incorporate this character into it. It's slow going, but I feel like I have some traction right now, and that makes me happy...

Today's productivity--refining previously cut-and-pasted scene, some new writing to round it out, for a total of 3 full pages. I'm hoping to increase that amount on the days when I'm not doing full-out writing, but it's a start, and that works for me right now!

Revisiting and Revising

Before this summer, the manuscript I'm currently working on had been sitting in a drawer for 5 years, as I recently realized. I'd had a particularly devastating critique of it with an editor at the SCBWI Summmer Conference (she didn't like the title, thought the voice wasn't strong enough, didn't know if my subject matter was enough to carry a whole book...), literally threw it into a drawer, and began to work on a different novel. I decided not to sign up for a critique this year, feeling like the novel I was working on for the past 3 years didn't need any further critiques right now, it just needed me to work on it, which I was having trouble doing. So I got out my first novel, almost afraid to look at it as I remembered all the negative comments I received the last time I'd worked on it. Well, guess what?

It wasn't horrible.

Was it ready to start submitting? No, far from it. But when I read parts of it as I flipped through the pages, I saw some things I really liked. A few things made me smile. A couple more made me laugh out loud. And when I signed up for the Working Writer's Retreat a few weeks later, I knew this was the manuscript I wanted to be working on right now. That decision was rewarded by getting great suggestions and some positive feedback from my critique group that weekend. I came home raring to go, feeling like I had a good foundation to work with and now I just needed to do some demolition as well as some rebuilding. I moved what had been Chapter 6 to become the new Chapter 1. That moved the story to a different time of year, causing me to chop a scene I really liked, but I'm trying not to be too attached to anything in the story right now. I put it in a folder and told myself I could use it in a different book. I'm feeling freer and more confident about my writing in general, and with this manuscript in particular, because it's not as bad as I'd thought it was in the mindset of receiving that awful critique.

It's funny, because today I pulled out a CD I hadn't listened to in probably a few years, and as I played it in my car, I realized I'd forgotten how much I liked it and wondered why I didn't play it more often (in my vast music collection, some CDs just get lost in the shuffle sometimes). I knew there was a reason I didn't get rid of it--there must have been something in the back of my mind that vaguely remembered that there was something about it I liked. Kind of like my manuscript...

It Worked!

Better late than never... That "experiment" I mentioned I was going to try took longer than I thought to put into action, but it did indeed work, so I'm satisfied. Friday turned into a completely non-writing day, much to my chagrin, but it was productive in other ways, so I tried not to be too annoyed by it. My husband (known henceforward as Mr. Greenjeans, or Mr. GJ), had been doing massive research on California native plants, and there's a fantastic place called the Theodore Payne Foundation that specializes in CA natives, and they were having a sale. Beginning on Friday. At 8:30 am. We had no idea what to expect, whether or not there'd be plant people standing at the gate like customers at a Mervyn's sale, chanting "open, open, open!", so we wanted to go as early as possible.

Good thing we did--it was crowded. They were even out of one of the plants we really wanted, but when we found out that one woman had gotten there as soon as they opened and bought all 8 plants, we didn't feel too bad. Spending about 2 1/2 hours there, then hitting freeway traffic due to an accident, we got home just about lunchtime. Time enough for me to scarf down some leftovers and head to Santa Monica to meet another friend for a walk and massage appointments. By the time I got home, it was just about dinner time, and the day was shot for me, writing-wise. (Also, Mr. GJ was home, and I have a hard time writing when he is, but that's another story for another blog day...) The weekend was pretty much spent turning this:


into this:



Yes, it took us two days (well, all day Sat., Sun. afternoon and Mon. morning), including Mr. GJ taking out a tree stump that the previous owners had left behind when they had these plants put into the yard. Our across-the-street neighbors were so incredibly nice--the husband complimented us on our hard work on Saturday, then Sunday, as we're putting the new plants in around dinnertime, the couple came strolling over to compliment us again--and bring us dinner! They told us they'd made too much food and would be glad to bring us "a plate." We didn't know that was going to mean 3 barbecued chicken breasts, grilled asparagus, a full plate of pasta salad and a plastic tub full of homemade black beans. I've never had a neighbor do such a nice thing. When I bring back the plastic tub, it's going to be filled with homemade cookies--this kind act makes up for some other neighbors making comments about the state of our (overgrown) yard. I would never say anything about someone's yard unless it was a pure compliment, but people here have had no qualms about saying things like "Wow, ya got a lotta work there," and "Those weed grasses grow pretty fast, don't they?" and asking us directly to keep our flax plants trimmed because the neighbors get poked when they walk by.

But, I digress...on to my experiment!

I was having some trouble getting into a good writing groove last week when I came up with this plan, as well as yesterday, so I didn't implement it until today. I told myself that I wasn't allowed to blog until I got some writing done--in part because sometimes the writing here is more fun than writing my novel, but also because I want to give myself some accountability, so I'm going to post my progress here. Thusly: Today's productivity--combo of new writing, rewriting, and moving some pieces around (pieces I didn't want to cut but didn't really belong where they'd been) for a total of about 6 pages. Considering I've been working in fits and starts since the Working Writer's Retreat, I'm very satisfied with my output today. Hooray!

Getting Back to Work

Okay, I can't say I've been very successful at this today. I met a friend for lunch in Beverly Hills and that took a chunk out of the middle of my day (even though I hadn't seen her for a while and we had a good time catching up--and I spotted Stephen Macht). I added a few more lines to my current chapter this morning, and was going to work some more when I got home this afternoon, but I had a bit of a fuzzy obstacle when one of our cats decided to lie on the desk between me and the keyboard. Just put him on the floor, you say? He's like a paddleball--he just comes right back. Shut the door, you say? Shutting a door in our house instantly invites all of our cats to stand outside it like they're in line for a new club opening. And one of them likes to stick her paws underneath the door as if she'll somehow be able to reach the doorknob. So I went into the other room, cat followed, then I went back to the office--and he didn't. Hooray, I could get back to work.

Nope.

Not the cats' fault this time. Mine, all mine. I went to the SCBWI Westside Schmooze last night, where we talked a lot about blogs. Now, I already have several bookmarked, many of which I read semi-regularly, and some occasionally. Well, now I somehow decided it would be a great idea to think of authors I've read lately whose books I really liked, and see if each of them has a blog. Not a quick task. Fun, but not quick. I found that Judy Blume even has a blog. In fact, Judy Blume having a blog on Blogger.com is in part what led me to do a blog here as opposed to some other sites. I thought, if it's good enough for the godmother of YA novels, then it's good enough for me. That was something that came up at the Schmooze--all the different blog hosting sites. It seemed that at conferences and stuff I've heard a lot of people talk about their "LJ names," so I thought LiveJournal would be the way to go, even though I preferred the layout of Blogger. Last night, though, it seemed like more people had blogs on Blogger. Then I started feeling like I did in middle school when I needed new sneakers. I'd always had Keds or Adidas, but in middle school, THE sneakers to have were Tretorns, a preppy tennis shoe (even if you didn't play tennis). So, buying Tretorns was a no-brainer--the biggest decision was what color triangle to get on the side (I was a semi-rebel by getting green when most people had red or blue). Now, is anyone going to think more or less of me because of the blog host I have? No, of course not. But I decided to embrace the feeling that it did matter, because that helps me remember what it felt like when I was thirteen and everything was an important (social) life-or-death decision.


So, I didn't get any more work done on my manuscript today, but I don't feel like the day was frittered away. I did get a bit done this morning, and I immersed myself in reading blogs and feeling connected to other writers, which is encouraging to me (children's authors can be some cool people!). Tomorrow I will try a new experiment with my manuscript in relation to my blog--we'll see if it works...

Back to Blogging!

Wow, this feels weird. I'd attempted to keep a blog beginning about 3 years ago, with the idea of just posting what it was like to attempt to become a published children's author. Then some things happened in my life, beginning with losing my mom 3 months after my wedding, and there were a lot of things that happened in my family as a result. My blog became more about that stuff (which I needed to write at the time, I guess) and almost nothing to do with writing. But, I had some good things happen with writing lately that made me feel like I finally turned a corner after many fits and starts over the past few years, so I wanted to start with a minty-fresh NEW blog instead of going back to the other one.

So, here I am, starting fresh. Thought the timing was good to start anew now. Or, a new now. Look out, I'm enjoying writing again... :)